ECONOMICS

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

*INDIAN ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You worship them.

* PAKISTAN ECONOMICS*
You don’t have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world

*AMERICAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will
be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

* FRENCH ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

*GERMAN ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month
and milk themselves.

*BRITISH ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

*ITALIAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.

*SWISS ECONOMICS *
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

*JAPANESE ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You re-design them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them
worldwide.

*CHINESE ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
reporting the actual numbers.

*RUSSIAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and lear

Management lessons

Lesson One…

An eagle was sitting on a tree… just resting… doing nothing. A rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing”? The eagle answered, “Sure, why not”? So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management principle number one: To sit around doing nothing, you better be sitting very, very, high up.

Lesson Two…

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven’t got the energy,” sighed the turkey. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” suggested the bull.
“They’re packed with nutrients”.
The turkey pecked at a lump of that and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more, he reached the second branch.
Finally, on the fifth day, he found himself proudly perched at the very top.
There, he was promptly spotted by a farmer who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson Number Two…Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Three…

A little bird was flying South for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird’s wings froze and he fell to the ground in a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dropping on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of that, it began to realize how warm it was; that was actually thawing him out.
The bird lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird’s song and came to investigate.
The cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dropping and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management lessons three, four and five…

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

When you’re in deep shit it’s best to keep your mouth shut.