Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Management lessons

Lesson One…

An eagle was sitting on a tree… just resting… doing nothing. A rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing”? The eagle answered, “Sure, why not”? So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management principle number one: To sit around doing nothing, you better be sitting very, very, high up.

Lesson Two…

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven’t got the energy,” sighed the turkey. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” suggested the bull.
“They’re packed with nutrients”.
The turkey pecked at a lump of that and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more, he reached the second branch.
Finally, on the fifth day, he found himself proudly perched at the very top.
There, he was promptly spotted by a farmer who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson Number Two…Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Three…

A little bird was flying South for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird’s wings froze and he fell to the ground in a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dropping on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of that, it began to realize how warm it was; that was actually thawing him out.
The bird lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird’s song and came to investigate.
The cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dropping and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management lessons three, four and five…

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

When you’re in deep shit it’s best to keep your mouth shut.